Crushed down hard

....
Time keeps going and going and going.... It never stops for you. It just keeps on going. And eventually, things change. People change. For the best and sometimes for the worst. Once we live something great and extraordinary, we always say that it's the greatest moment of our lives. Surely, we don't know yet since we still have the future ahead of us. But sometimes, we also feel like going back to those simple good moments. The good times, the good feeling, some good friends. And many would say that it would make them feel happy and see how wonderful their life is and they'll continue to try and make their life meaningful. While others might see it differently. Maybe in a darker way like "I'll never live that kind of happiness again." or "I miss these good times". And eventually, some would quietly cry. When these kind of people, see others living the kind of happiness they once had, they either get jealous, or simply gets unhappy, or maybe in the weirdest way which would make them think "That person stole it from me.". Because sometimes, we would live fantasies that we saw on TV or anime (Yeah these perfect dramatic moments? You know what I mean.), things that seemed impossible before (Because it's only on TV that it exists right? Maybe not.) and you would feel like the luckiest person on earth. When that "luck" has run out... What happens? "Oh it's okay. I'll experience it again eventually. No biggie" or on the other hand (one word) depression. People do get crushed down hard especially when they heard someone say how special they are or how important they are or how amazing they are or just hear the plain old I.LOVE.YOU. and then it will either fade away or it would all disappear in one blow. Most would think that it's ridiculous to see and hear girls say that they can't live without having a boyfriend (Like they want a boyfriend so badly). But there's a big chance that that feeling would come once it is experienced and have everything fall down in front of the eyes. 

I've heard that when you're the first to confess, there's a high chance that you would be the first to get hurt the most. Especially when reality would come and hit you hard. I didn't want to believe that. But I want to be open and say that there could be a possibility. 

What do you do, if your whole life, you were happy. You had that joy of living as if nothing can hurt you. Nothing can bring you down. You have that innocent mind, thinking that everyone's nice and happy. The perfect world. Until at about 10, someone tells you you're being selfish. You're being a spoiled child. As if you're too happy. And it makes them feel sick to see you like that. Some might say that they wouldn't care. Some would think differently..... Asking themselves questions. Maybe... Ask for the first time "Am I a horrible person?"., staring blankly through the fence at the far away river covered by autumn trees... While that same person who gave you a reality check tries to gather up allies just in case you would fight them back. Making everyone hate you just because you really wanted something in particular. Maybe from that time, you would start hating yourself but trying to please everyone with whatever help you can do, whatever comment you can do. Which could lead to feeling sad because no one would return the help. Trying to make everything perfect and be sure to please everyone so that you won't get hurt. Becoming... Selfless... 

Now some people might say this is ridiculous and that it's something that should of been gotten over in an instant. Well. we're all different. We all don't have the same minds. Some could be weaker than others. Some might have a strong immune system and strong in every physical aspect while in the mind, they're really weak and fragile. Like they're ill inside. Suffering while everyone sees you like this super strong person on the outside....

Don't get me wrong though, help is everywhere when you're willing to let others help you. It's just... Our sensitivity is different.

I'm super sensitive.... I can't help it... And I hate it....